Tuesday, October 27, 2009

One Stressed out Cat

Right now I am lying on the floor in my spare room hiding because the furnance maintenance guy is here. Ryan is out in the hallway supervising.

Now, I know what you're thinking. How the heck am I laying on this floor? Isn't there stuff piled everywhere? Well friends, for the majority of the day I have been cleaning my home! Fun! The landlord called us yesterday and said that the furnance guy was coming....and so was he. I took one look at our tornado-destructed home and knew it was time to play the clean up game. And let me tell you, there is a BIG difference between cleaning and unpacking. For instance, instead of unpacking the boxes, we organized the boxes. And instead of hanging our clothes up, most were stuffed into bins. Poor Lily has been stressed out, trying not to be accidently closed up in a bin, smashed by a box, or washed with the rest of the laundry. Now that it's calmed down a bit, she is lying next to me taking a much needed cat nap.

And guess what?! We talked to our home teachers and one of them has a friend who has a truck we can borrow! Operation Move the Rest of Our Stuff will occur on THURSDAY. I am really excited and can't wait to have more than a bed and a rug to sit on. And we'll finally have places to put all of our stuff!

I must admit, though, I am a bit sad because I keep think of how easy it would be to move out if we just kept all of our stuff in boxes and lived like scrap rats...


Good thing we're humans!

Saturday, October 24, 2009

An Embarrassing Story

Two weeks ago, Ryan and I had time to kill before he went to work. So what did we do? We sat in his car and ate yummy little Costco turkey wraps! Mmmm...It was a perfect pre-work snack. We ate and ate until our bellies were quite full and content, and then I walked him to work.

About half way there I turned to him and asked for the keys. "I need them to drive home," I explained.

He looked at me. The confusion in his eyes quickly turning to panic. "I thought I gave them to you."


We quickly ran, well, speedily walked, back to the car, and peered through the car window, looking like little kids eyeing a toy store window. There, sitting in the passenger seat, placed right next to the perfectly wrapped little turkey rolls, sat Ryan's keys. I could almost hear them taunting me through the tinted window. "Nananananana! You caaaan't get meee!"

Well, there was only one option to do. Call BYU info.

We quickly dialed their number, and after a little snicker from the operator, they transferred us to the BYU auto shop. Lucky for us, they told us a little secret.

If we waited ten more minutes, they would be closed and the campus police would have to get the keys out, free of charge. I thought they were doing us a favor. But really, they probably just wanted to go home and not deal with our key fiasco.

I sent Ryan off to work, telling him I would tackle this endeavor.

He called BYU police for me, and I sat by the car and waited for them.

And waited.

And waited some more.

A cop car, a cop golf cart, and several people looking at me strangely came and went. I even had a couple people ask me if I was okay and then knowingly told me to call BYU police. Thanks.

Finally, after a long, grueling 45 minutes later, a big, Tongan police man came to my rescue. He said sorry for the wait, but the other policemen were called away due to an emergency situation. Y'know, like people ducknapping the ducks south of campus.

Anyways, I signed a little waiver saying that if he damaged the car, he wasn't liable. I think I said something like I trusted him, in which he responded, in his thick Tongan accent, "Don't. I am the worst one at this." I laughed at what I THOUGHT was a joke. Boy was I wrong.

After trying all sorts of methods, arguing over which button unlocked the car, and a scratch or two later, the cop finally was victorious in unlocking the door. The passenger door on the other side of the car. He was also victorious in setting off the car alarm. Frazzled, I ran to the other side and was trying everything to stop the ear-splitting car alarm from sounding off--turning on the engine, unlocking the door, locking the door, and begging. But to no avail.

After awhile, people started looking and glaring at me.

I shot a quick glance at the police officer who was getting into his car about to pull away.

I shouted at him over the blaring noise, panicked. "Do you know how to turn this thing off?"

He kind of looked at me and shrugged. "It's your car."

Mind you, it was RYAN'S CAR!!!

By then, everyone was looking at me. Even the few stray ducks that wandered my way.

What a sight.

Car alarm going off, a police man. They probably thought I was a criminal. Moms were probably yanking their kids away from me. I was humiliated.

And the cop just watched.

Finally, the usually broken automatic car unlocker, silenced the piercing siren. Phew. The police man just said, "See! You just learned how to turn off your car alarm." And drove away.


Lucky for Ryan, he was sitting behind his nice warm, check out counter the entire time.

Maybe someday soon I will be able to regain my hearing. And my pride.

But on the bright side, at least it was free!

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Better than an Alarm Clock

This morning I rolled out of bed, leaving my warm blankets and warm husband behind to go take a shower.

I was actually having a pretty pleasant morning. I went to bed early last night and got my full eight hours of sleep when a normal human being does, for once. I proceeded to walk to the bathroom, petting the cat on the way, and turned on the shower. After a minute or two, I stepped into the warm waterful, and ahhh, it felt so good. I started thinking of various things, such as work and Gold's Gym (which is another story in and of itself), when I saw it.

Eight legs.
On my shower Curtain.
Right. Next. To. Me.

I, of course, did what any sane woman would've done.

I screamed.

You should've seen what happened next.

My husband, who didn't budge a muscle after 3 alarms, jumped up like lightning, and stumbled into the bathroom in record time. I was still screaming, of course, and think I might've gotten out one coherent word, "spider".

Ryan, being only sensible, shoved open the shower curtain. This flung the spider closer to me, making my screams louder and more urgent. I started jumping up and down, pointing, "RIGHT THERE! RIGHT THERE!!"  He was still half asleep and confused, looking in all the wrong spots for the red arachnid, on the walls, on the floor. I finally got enough wit to run past him and into the hall, screaming "It's on the shower curtain!" It finally dawned on him. Water was flying everywhere as he grabbed his shoe and squashed the criminal bug against his hand, with only the shower curtain between them. What a hunk.

And that my friends is what true love is.

Water was all over the floor, a dead spider carcass on the shoe, my cat cowering in some corner, and my husband half-frazzled, having been awoken by my screams, and he wasn't one bit mad.

Even when the fire alarm went off.

Three times.

He hunted for more spiders for me. I had actually killed a baby red one (that was probably already dead) the day before.

12 hours later. He still checks for spiders for me so I can go to the bathroom. And the first place he checks is the shower curtain.

One good thing that came out of this situation is that I realized my full potential.

As an alarm clock.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Wanted: Alive or Sleeping

Alive or Sleeping

Name: Lily Stephens
Description: Gray with Black Stripes
Yellow/Green Eyes
Height: 9 inches
Weight: 8 lbs
Said to be armed with fangs and claws
Caution: May be dangerous


The last, lone survivor of the horrible attack

Claims that it's family and friends have all been brutally torn, chewed, hunted, and eaten by the furry beast we call Lily. All that is left of the horrifying scene are various remains, scattered to be found by unsuspecting bystanders.

The faint of heart should look no further.

Crime scene:

The murderer was last seen in hiding.

Justice must be served.

If you have any information about the crime or the whereabouts of the kitty,
please let your local blog enforcer know.
Thank you, and have a purrrfect day.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

My Best Friend

I have a best friend.
Her name is Jenn.

See Jenn's pretty smile.
Smile Jenn smile!

Jenn likes to play in the sun
Jenn likes to play in the rain.

Jenn also really likes
to go "bang bang!"

Jenn likes to play hide and go seek
She hides and I seek!
Where is Jenn?

Is she above the table.
I cannot see!
Is she hiding
behind that tree?!

She does not like to make a sound.
She kicks and screams
When she is found.

Oh Jenn is my best friend.
She is happy and merry
Really cool and not scary!

 Going potty is our hobby.

And that is why we
are the best of friends.

(Jennifer has a new blog! I helped design it. Check it out!)