I was actually having a pretty pleasant morning. I went to bed early last night and got my full eight hours of sleep when a normal human being does, for once. I proceeded to walk to the bathroom, petting the cat on the way, and turned on the shower. After a minute or two, I stepped into the warm waterful, and ahhh, it felt so good. I started thinking of various things, such as work and Gold's Gym (which is another story in and of itself), when I saw it.
Red.
Big.
Eight legs.
On my shower Curtain.
Right. Next. To. Me.
I, of course, did what any sane woman would've done.
I screamed.
You should've seen what happened next.
My husband, who didn't budge a muscle after 3 alarms, jumped up like lightning, and stumbled into the bathroom in record time. I was still screaming, of course, and think I might've gotten out one coherent word, "spider".
Ryan, being only sensible, shoved open the shower curtain. This flung the spider closer to me, making my screams louder and more urgent. I started jumping up and down, pointing, "RIGHT THERE! RIGHT THERE!!" He was still half asleep and confused, looking in all the wrong spots for the red arachnid, on the walls, on the floor. I finally got enough wit to run past him and into the hall, screaming "It's on the shower curtain!" It finally dawned on him. Water was flying everywhere as he grabbed his shoe and squashed the criminal bug against his hand, with only the shower curtain between them. What a hunk.
And that my friends is what true love is.
Water was all over the floor, a dead spider carcass on the shoe, my cat cowering in some corner, and my husband half-frazzled, having been awoken by my screams, and he wasn't one bit mad.
Even when the fire alarm went off.
Three times.
He hunted for more spiders for me. I had actually killed a baby red one (that was probably already dead) the day before.
12 hours later. He still checks for spiders for me so I can go to the bathroom. And the first place he checks is the shower curtain.
One good thing that came out of this situation is that I realized my full potential.
As an alarm clock.
5 comments:
Wow! I would have screamed too!!! Yay for Ryan, the spider killer!
Julie, this was so funny! You should be a writer or something. You have some real potential.
I was going to say the exact same thing as Lisa. I think you graduated in the wrong thing, sorry to tell you now. I think you should definately be a writer. I love your blog. It always makes my day. Even more so it makes me feel like i still know whats going on in your life. I am calling you. today. answer.
Wait a minute. Why did the fire alarm go off? Did you burn the spider's body, too? Your apartment has had more than its fair share of action since you moved there. Maybe you should move somewhere new!
sick! that's so funny! spiders are all over my apartment too...I hate spiders!
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